a downright spiral/ merry christmas

its christmas, i hope no one reads this.

so pretty much i got pretty cool presents. my mom went out of her way to do the best she oculd this year...

i just dont know why im so upset.

its liek i want to just cry and cry and let it all out but im holding myself back even though i dont want to.

i miss my dad. i really honestly do.

and i need kelsey here more than anything, i need smoene to talk to thats not invovled in anything like this.

 its christmas.

december 25, 2009.

the marking of the second to last holiday before the new year.

can you believe its been 10 years since the milenium ?

i can't. 

its clearly impossibly for me to even fathom where these years have gone.

things need to start changing.

things need to start going right.

or i just honestly dont know where i'll be in 6 months.

i know this is more of a whinning post than more of a jolly merry  christmas.

but than again..why are you even looking at this on christmas?

shouldn't you be with your family?

yeah...exactly.

so heres to the new year and to christmas.

signing out....brie.

i'm glad.

A new beginning of some sort I suppose.

I've been looking at life in a new perspective, how you may ask? I've been looking at scenes as if they were just frozen there. right then and there.

I'm starting over for the better.

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

^^ whenever i listen to these lyrics i feel like im in that movie "how to deal." i want my life to play out like that.

i feel like everythings different now. My life. where i'm heading. who I am myself.

My names brie, if I haven't introduced myself and Im 19.

I look at myself more as a product of depression and hard life lessons than anything else.

2010 will be different

I'm going back to BRIE.

but we'll see how that goes.

DEAR MR.TYLER HILTON. i'm infatuated with your voice.

so my moms comming back with my sister tomrorow if the snow doesn't stop them.

im really excited. Im ready for a good christmas the first of 3 years.

also tomorrow is postsecret day.

if i dont post make sure you go to

www.postsecret.com and look up the new posts.