Ironic.

don't you think? Ironic. how we all mesh together like one huge ball made out of composted garbage. tossed and kicked into the abyss of lifes hands and blossomed into a reality only known by true americans. Ironic. hm.

I wish i could let you know how i feel right here and now but I don't think that's a possibility. Lately I've come to realize that life is way shorter than i initally assed when i looked at the situation. ending infront of us before we even begin to fathom the idea of its game.

Have you see the Time travlers wife? im guessing yes if your nodding your head and no if your still staring here motionless reading these words as i type them onto the screen. Imagine life. leaving it and welcomining yourself whenever your body decided it was time. scary huh? Imagine a world filled with dissapointments and yet still a sense of hope and love. can't imagine it can you. can't even begin to think of what that would do to your life you live now? It would be scary. I do give it that much.

I recently felt like i have become someone new. someone I do not know of who I am but I am slowly finding out. I feel like a bum. As if im waisting my life away. And thats killing me more than ever. I wake up late, go to bed late. make it a point to at least go on my balcony and take in a breaht of fresh air before the sun sets in 2 hours. I find myself having a nightmare more than actually dreaming. I find myself waking up t cold sweats instead of that chillingness I use to.

Its crazy how we change isn't it?

From that little girl, who her biggest worry is if that boy shes in love with will take her to the dance. To the young women fending for herself and slowly growing apart from the family she's known all her life.

I recently looked up the meaning of a dream. And you're probably thinking, "wow a dream brie? really?! " but yes. And I'm not saying that I've ever done that before, and I would tell you, but I haven't. This dream just scared me so much that I had to. Anyways, the meaning of the dream was that something in my life was changing. a new chapter was beginning an old one was ending. and suddenly I felt myself not being able to handle things I once thought I could.

Its crazy how we learn isn't it?

a downright spiral/ merry christmas

its christmas, i hope no one reads this.

so pretty much i got pretty cool presents. my mom went out of her way to do the best she oculd this year...

i just dont know why im so upset.

its liek i want to just cry and cry and let it all out but im holding myself back even though i dont want to.

i miss my dad. i really honestly do.

and i need kelsey here more than anything, i need smoene to talk to thats not invovled in anything like this.

 its christmas.

december 25, 2009.

the marking of the second to last holiday before the new year.

can you believe its been 10 years since the milenium ?

i can't. 

its clearly impossibly for me to even fathom where these years have gone.

things need to start changing.

things need to start going right.

or i just honestly dont know where i'll be in 6 months.

i know this is more of a whinning post than more of a jolly merry  christmas.

but than again..why are you even looking at this on christmas?

shouldn't you be with your family?

yeah...exactly.

so heres to the new year and to christmas.

signing out....brie.

i'm glad.

A new beginning of some sort I suppose.

I've been looking at life in a new perspective, how you may ask? I've been looking at scenes as if they were just frozen there. right then and there.

I'm starting over for the better.

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

^^ whenever i listen to these lyrics i feel like im in that movie "how to deal." i want my life to play out like that.

i feel like everythings different now. My life. where i'm heading. who I am myself.

My names brie, if I haven't introduced myself and Im 19.

I look at myself more as a product of depression and hard life lessons than anything else.

2010 will be different

I'm going back to BRIE.

but we'll see how that goes.

DEAR MR.TYLER HILTON. i'm infatuated with your voice.

so my moms comming back with my sister tomrorow if the snow doesn't stop them.

im really excited. Im ready for a good christmas the first of 3 years.

also tomorrow is postsecret day.

if i dont post make sure you go to

www.postsecret.com and look up the new posts.

Can you say weight gain?

So lately people have been telling me I lost weight. Okay, first off I'd like to run through ALL of the things I eat daily. Bagel/Creamcheese/lox/bacon/hotpockets/edamame peas/jalaopenos poppers/chocolate/poptarts/sugarfree tea/peanut butter and apples/ ERM i think thats it. and whatever i get for lunch. haha which is usually taco bell.

damn that was a lot more stuff than intended it to be. well!

ANYWAYS. i am starting to think i eat too much. and people are putting pressure on me to loose weight. I.E. family.

Ontop of that I feel like I owe them the world for my laptop. so I guess I should start doing this crap. BLAH.

On another note, I, Brianna Sera Carr have decided I am going straightedge for a month.

no smoking, i.e. pot, ciggs. no drinking. lets see if i can do it. if not i haven't decided what the consequence should be but i'm determined! so stay with me.

if you haven't checked out postsecret.com i suggest that you do.

also..what do you think of me getting a "flapjack" tattoo? with F.J and Kahnuckles? XD

let me know.

Peace.

macbook pro.

Today, I can honestly stay I am the proud owner of a macbook pro. you heard it right baby dolls. I now have me a MAC. :] words cannot express how happy I am after waiting eight years for one.

ON another note.

I'm so sick of hearing about the following.

1.Mj.

2. Kanye West and Taylor Swift.

3. Patrick Swayze.

4. Obama

5. PEREZ HILTON.

omg just get over it. none of these people are important.

MJ is clearly 6 ft under. sorry but its the truth.

Kanye...fucked up and beyonce fixed it.

P.S. is an icon, but he died after batteling cancer for 20 months we all expected it and hes in a better place.

Obama is just a dumb shmuck.

Perez Hilton, is too mean for my taste. and thats saying a lot.

btw. I know this isn't that interesting.

BUT.

how about you go out and check out my girl Vanessa Rose.

shes got some amazing music and you wont regret it, unless your heavy metal fans

so check her out kay?

or buy her EP on itunes.

peace.

tons of things to do so little time

So first off I want to say if you haven't heard the new Vanessa Rose EP you need to get on that shit like monkey on a stick k? cause its pretty B.A

Next, I slept at Nicks last night, on the couch, where Jenni and Rick have been sitting, they both have swine flu, chance i'll get it? 50%. i'd say..yeah about that much. OH MAN! haha.

Did you know that Jacko, was just buried LAST NIGHT? like come on, seriously? its 70 days later, and now your going to put the man to rest? i say lets imbalm him and just keep him forever, since that what most of you sick S.O.B's wanted anyways. I'm sick of hearing about him, yes yes i understand, "he was a great man, he made history.we love and miss him." but hes dead yall. he's been gone for a while. sorry. =/

On another note, I finally got my Ipod to work, T.Y.G. it was pissing me the fuck off!

I miss gaby, tons and tons and tons, I can't wait to see her!

(note for gab, WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR OUR BIRTHDAY?)

is it this?? I NEED TO KNOW GIRL.

Anyways, if you are ever in Baton Rouge, and you don't know where to eat, GO TO MELLOW MUSHROOM. talk about a trippy ass place. and funny memories.

last night part convo.

Nick: I wonder how long it took for them to paint this.

Peryn: a while. (or the other person coud have said this. like visa versa?)

Nick: you'd have to be on Acid to do something like this.

(both of them look at me)

Me: how come everytime theres a drug reference you all look at me?!

^^^ it was interesting to say the least, and peryn give you props girl your new car is GORGEOUS.

mkay the lost thing i will say today is, I was asked to put up pictures of my APT. so here are some shitty pictures.

zeee kitchen.

Master bedroom, i was standing in the doorway it extends a little more on the side. and it has a huge closet. but I dont like taking pictures of inantimate objects.

the living room <3>

this would be the guest bathroom. part of it.

and this is the other half of the guest bathroom. sorry its messy i had taken these when i first moved in. so cyeah.

theres another bedroom and the dining aread and the balcony but i dont have pictures and if I do I don't feel like uploading them, so please feel free to use your imagination. <3>

well I have to go, Some of us go to college. :]

pce yo.leave me some comments